Corkscrew!!

Am not quite sure what inspired me to write once again on this blog. It was silly enough that I couldn't recollect the username and password at the first go and thought to myself, “OMG! Has it really been that long?”

Yes it has been…..I started this blog in April 2008 and now its November 2008, in another 13 days am gonna be an year older…Damn!!. Yep, it’s been real long.

This how it was meant to be. I started this blog promising myself to get into the habit of penning down stuff but hey I don't get time or lets just say am lazy. I know you would believe the later part though. Sometimes there is just too much going in my head and I think I lose a track of things and then I need someone to just pinch me real hard and say “hey, welcome to reality!”

Now this is how it is. Life is a roller coaster ride in true sense. Yaaa….am not kidding man it is! You never know when a sudden turn can make your heart beat racing at the speed of a F1 car or when a slow upward climb makes you feel that you have conquered all your fears and just that moment the machines gear up and you hear them roaring loud and you know that its gonna be one helluva ride. But then, are you ready? Remember how as kids we would play Hide and Seek and then someone would scream, “Ready or not, here I come”. Yes that's how life is. Unpredictable!

Well I know what you thinking, “Hell, did this girl just return from some amusement park?” Okay, wouldn’t lie and guess what yes I did. I had some crazy rides in Genting highlands amusement park at Malaysia. Am not a tough person and I wouldn't boast that I did all the scary rides. But I did try a few. Especially a ride called “Corkscrew”. As the name suggests it makes the rider feel like a cork stuck up the neck of a exotic wine at times during the ride. The mention of the wine….hmm lets just say I am in a good mood. So…yes I tried this ride after much self conviction that the rides wouldn't kill me! And here I am still alive just a little less scared and a bit tougher. :P

Reminds me of the time I came to Singapore - scared, excited, heart broken, unsure and yet a big smile on my face. Leaving home for a 3 months short term assignment was a tricky situation for me. I mean who wouldn’t wanna go over seas and earn an extra buck or even more and tour places, considering it was my first onsite assignment. I had been waiting for this even before I joined Wipro! So when I was called in the conference room by the Project Manager on 30th June 2008, I couldn't stop the excitement building within. I was not aware what was going on but all the senior managers were looking at me with some kinda signals beaming in their eyes and I knew am up for something here!

So it was out, I got the assignment! And I had to tell them then and there a Yes or a No. Phew my brain stopped functioning for minute. I still remember all the chaos in my head and the excitement in my belly. I wouldn't say that I had two opposite forces fighting within because there were like a dozen of them! Each one with its own reasoning either pushing or pulling me! In that very millisecond something told me that I have to accept this and this could be a way out! Did I say way out?

Now I think about it and it reminds me of the roller coaster ride. I wasn’t ready but I had to move either forward or stay put. There was no u- turn there. I am not sure whether I took a wise decision then because I believe there is nothing like a perfect decision in the world. And nobody is perfect. And maybe sometimes we take the wisest decisions in the midst of the most confusing situations. And now I know that I am happy with my decision.

Today I am at Singapore, a place I was planning to visit pretty soon anyways. It’s my first onsite assignment. I have learnt so much from this opportunity professionally. Got a taste of the real corporate world to some extent. Made and lost friends! Traveled like a real tourist. Globe trotted and got my Passport stamped at Indonesia and Malaysia. This might not sound very exciting for people who have been in far fetched lands. But for me, a girl from a small nuclear family with an ex-army man as my Dad and a loving housewife as my mum, my life has offered me more than I could imagine.

I said it was a wise decision because I freed myself from some bonds and chains I had been carrying with me for the past few years. Can’t say exactly what I mean by these bonds and chains but I just feel….Free! And am back to being myself. And today I live my life if not exactly, probably the best way I would have wanted to. And this feeling is enough to get me going.

It’s not complete and there are missing pieces but this time I know I need a change. I don't want the old parts so am gonna go out and explore and maybe shop and find something that fits me or rather something I fit into and feel complete. It’s not fun doing everything alone every time too J

And yes, my ride isn’t over I can see the 360 degree turn coming right around the corner and am not sure if am ready! But then do I have a choice? So here I go…..yuuuuuuuhhhhhoooooo!!

I am 16...going on 60 ;)

When you cross your twenties and you cruise along you start feeling older. Suddenly a boy in 11th class looks like a kid to you and a girl smoking a cigarette during her 2nd year college puts you off. We start feeling the “OMG” (Oh my God) syndrome. Relating to our next generation becomes a task consuming all our thinking and reasoning power. Why? Because, You start feeling old! You don’t try and realize that at their age you probably did many things that maybe your previous generation looked at with the “OMG” syndrome! Yes it does take us few minutes before we stop staring these younger ones and remind ourselves that “hey c’mon…let them have the fun they deserve”. Though we still keep thinking bout it even later.

But that’s not the point; the point is that we need to stop feeling old you know. Seriously!! I see a lot of people who start feeling old the moment they cross 23-24! Yes I too went thru that trauma…but I was lucky to get out of that quickly too! And for those who still feel like sweet 16…way to go!

Because I read it some where,” You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing”. I mean how true that can be. It made me realize that I made myself feel old like the many others around me. I made myself believe that now I can’t make friends coz am not young and energetic and I cannot do many other things. I’m incapable! But….but now that I have crossed over that feeling I realized how young I am!

It’s all in the head…when we think we are 16, we are! Try and behave like the people around you. It really helps you to mingle more easily. You often might come across a group of younger kids. It’s totally up to you if want to over shadow them as an elderly bhaiya/didi or want to be cool dude/dudette sharing their jokes.

Have friends who are crazy and wild and with whom you could laugh at anything just like when you were a naughty kid! I realized that its important to be in the company of crazy people sometimes coz that fills up the craziness barometer within and gives you the kick to rock on!

Be more open and approachable to others and try and mingle easily. It helps you to realize and adjust with the fast changing world and the new set of thoughts going around.

No one’s asking you to be foolish. Behaving like a 16 year old at your work place aint getting you that promotion man! But its time that we awaken the kid within….yeah we all speak bout it but do we really do it? Learn to be responsible but don’t forget to have the fun in your life. Don’t miss out even a single opportunity to smile and laugh and make other happy. Be crazy and do some wild things. Remember when you stop laughing you r gonna be an oldie. ;) So make your choice.

Broad - Minded’ness/less’

I read this somewhere, “Don’t be too broad minded, your brains might fall off”.

Nice one!

Broad minded is a much misused word in today’s time. I often hear guys and girls saying, “Oh, my partner better be broad-minded you know…. I can’t tolerate an introvert!”

On few occasions I asked such people how they define the term “Broad-minded”.

“Oh it’s real simple” said a girl with naughty eyes, “you know I love my freedom. And I want that my guy shouldn’t bother me when I meet new guys or hang around with new people. He can have his fun and I mine!”

“See I aint committed so I want to explore the world, so I would like to have relationship with girls who think one night stands are not too big a deal!”

“If he lets me wear tiny skirt and plunging necklines I would know he’s pretty broad-minded”

As the dictionary defines it…

broad-mind·ed (brôd m n d d)
adj.
Having or characterized by tolerant or liberal views.
broad -mind ed·ly adv.
broad -mind ed·ness n.
Synonyms: broad-minded, broad, liberal, open-minded, tolerantThese adjectives mean having or showing an inclination to respect views and beliefs that differ from one's own: a broad-minded judge; showed broad sympathies; a liberal cleric; open-minded impartiality; a tolerant attitude.
Antonym: narrow-minded

So the real meaning has some how been misused to suit our requirement!
One night stands or revealing clothing or two timing a partner, are these actually being broad minded? In a way we could say being tolerant but maybe not accepting of it.

As mentioned in the definition it basically means - an inclination to respect views and beliefs that differ from one's own.

If we think about it we usually have our own mind frame regarding the life we live. It’s like us writing our own rules and regulations and those who don’t follow our principles are regarded as intruders.

But we are humans….social animals as we are termed. So we meet people of various cultural backgrounds and of varied habits and characteristics. Of course we cant like everyone or even hate everyone but if we want to happy we must follow a neutral path by being broad-minded.
Many times we meet people who behave in a strange way and we feel they are so “sad” or “weird” but there must be a reason for that. But in this fast paced life who has time for reasoning? However if we give them a chance we’ll find out why they are the way they are? And trust me it might not do anything for you to spend your precious time understanding them but you would add one more point of view to your live and broaden your perspective.

We lose out on a lot of things in life because we fail to see them in ways different from ours. We make wrong judgments of people from what we hear and never talk to them. We easily get out of relationships because we are not tolerant of our partners outlook. We talk ill about those who are different from us. We feel that we are always right because that gives us comfort.

And when we realize all this we feel how stupid we have been all the while!

Remember one thing, every time you meet a new person give him/her a chance to show his/her real self to you. Take a minute extra before you judge others or come to conclusions. Try and love people without prejudice and the wrong doings they have committed to you. But be sure you provide them with regular feedback when you are dissatisfied.

Doing all this would help you to see the world in a broader perspective and then you can choose the one that befits the situation/person the best.

Hope this reading helps you become broad-minded.

Warning: “Don’t be too broad-minded, else you know what happens ;)”

Prioritizing

“What are your long term goals?”

“Long term!”, laughing…. “Dude I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me this evening forget tomorrow!!”

“Well you need to know your priorities dear”

“OK, in that case I want to have a better job and role at work, a good amount of hike every year so I can splurge the way I do now. Get married to the guy I love more than anything and have 2 lovely daughters. Then get old taking care of my family and take my final trip to heaven peacefully. Does this answer your question?” Wink Wink!

“Gosh what a kiddo you are!”

“No, I ain't a kiddo! I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me today evening or where this life leads me tomorrow but I just want a simple happy life and grow old loving and get loved.”

This is a conversation between a guy and a girl. You must have guessed it!

Usually women are more focused on family and personal life while men are busy figuring out how to earn more. None can be blamed for that’s how their thinking works. Call it gender talks or whatever you wish to.

But, no matter how ambitious and career oriented a woman might be, it’s but natural to wish for a happy married life and a caring partner to whom she can devote the rest of the life to. For her it’s important to have meaningful relationships, compassion and care because she feels that money would come for sure. After all if both her husband and she are well qualified where is the problem?

Men on the other hand take their career/business/work more seriously as they are the ‘bread earners’ of the family. For them a family takes a second role. In the end what will you do with a lover or a family when you have no money to give them a lifestyle?

But does this hold good in today’s world too? I feel yes it does, to a very large extent. There might be exceptions. But as far as I have seen this is a common thinking among men and women

Especially when there are couples in a relationship there is a lot of sacrificing and compromising that happens. And I strongly agree that it is required for any successful relationship. But the question comes whether both the partners understand each others expectation or not? Or do they realize their and their partners’ priorities in life?

Love is blind and it often blinds people to many harsh realities of life. Sometime relationships which have seen all ups and downs of life for years together fall apart and come to stand still when commitments take a toll. Yes the “C” word which reminds you of all the “Ifs” and “Buts”, the “Hows” and “Whens”.

As a boyfriend or girlfriend one would never realize if his/her partner is actually whom he/she wants to marry. It’s a total fantasy world when you are in love. One fails to see many wrong doings and problems he/she faces during the courtship. Because one feels that “C’mon, I can surely do this much for him/her!” And you keep doing things which you never imagined. We go way beyond our capacity and capability to give love, protection and care to the relationship, trying to nurture it day after day! It’s like taking care of your first born baby!

But what usually happens through such long relationships is that women become bounded to their better halves. They start looking at them as their perspective future husbands and in fact start treating them in the same fashion. They often go so blind that they start giving them a place in their lives which would be higher than their own parents, siblings or friends! This comes natural to any woman who has loved a man for very long and has spent a lot of time with him. Men fail to understand this behaviour of women which often leads to many complications later on. They do not see this transformation coming in their partners and often take this to extra love the partner is showering on them.

In the beginning women give their unconditional love and care. But there comes a time when they start expecting the man to reciprocate by giving her a commitment of a lifetime!

This is the real test of the relationship. The woman who’s neck deep into the relationship and who was till now thinking that this would be her man, her life, her everything, now sits back in anxiety wondering if he too feels the same way about her? What a pitiful state? Imagine after all those sacrifices, compromises and unconditional love and care you need to go through such a torture. It’s like waiting for your results after an exam you studied so hard for but you are not sure if the professor like you enough to give you a “A” or a “D” grade!

The man on the other hand doesn’t give in easily. After all he is a MAN. He would scrutinize the entire situation; balance out if this would work. Will my family accept her? Will she be able to adjust in a new culture and among “my” people? Would she be ok dressing up like a married woman and socializing in all my family parties?

These problems usually come when the partners are from different backgrounds. Very rarely do men take a step to accept the woman as she is and promise her the life she has dreamt of with him. He would give her a priority she gave him in her life and might even go against culture or family members to be with her.

But usually the vice-versa happens. Men tell the women the situation and expect her to adjust, compromise and give in to the ways of his family. Seeing no other option some women usually don’t think twice and happily accept what life has to offer. And regret later.

But it’s 21st century. Women are smart and have a huge exposure to life. They also measure their risks. Understand their family expectations and more importantly decide whether its worth to give in to marry this man!! She has been giving all this while to get him and now again she gotta give in to further get into a relationship which would be highly demanding and unfairly rewarding! Not worth the risk.

That’s why women need to understand what’s the right thing to do? And men need to understand that they are highly regarded by their partners and if they cannot promise them the future their partner are looking for; its important to explicitly tell them and not let the woman flow into a imaginary river taking her to fantasy world.

It needs guts to love someone!! And remember….

“Don’t let a person be a Priority for you when he/she considers you as an Option”

My Simple Complex life!

Does that strike a chord?
If not try and remember how you paid your last mobile bill? Did you personally visit a Vodafone or Airtel shop? Or u made it online with a credit card or maybe through your mobile itself? Did they receive it. Yes? Well...that's gr8! And what if they didn't...now there you go....calling the customer care rep...spending 10-15 minutes explaining your problem and trying to convince them that u actually paid them and your service should no longer be barred!

So basically to make your life easy you spend lots of money on a smart phone and then to make it simpler and cheap you apply for best rate plan and end up in the whirlpool of complexities to make this simple thing work smoothly!

We never ponder on such small things....and I never bothered to think about it either, till today when I and a friend discussed how complex are simple lives are getting!

Sometime I feel life was better when we didn’t have mobiles and computer and credit cards. Live was simple and easy. I feel my parents had a better life without all theses complex technologies and so called devices and equipments and services which now claim to be our basic foundation for a smart survival! But we are now in 2008 and this is our new freedom, though I don’t remember being chained!

Do you recall the last time you wrote a letter to a relative/friend....by hand? The last time I did it was maybe 2005....phew!! writing a hand written letter is already becoming history. Maybe one day my kids would read their history chapters on their palm tops and curiously ask me what a paper letter really looked like and if I had any specimen for them to take to school and show off a historic item to their fellow hi tech friends!

I was proposed on a SMS 5 years from now. And OK I admit that I accepted the proposal with a SMS reply too. But now I can imagine love letters traveling on mails in gmail or a yahoo account ID. Sisters sending e-rakhis to their brothers on Raksha Bandhan and their sweet brothers sending an e-voucher as a token of love which could be redeemed on a popular gift site. Soon marriage invitations would be sent as a MMS with a small presentation of the bride and bridegroom, some traditional music and a map which could be downloaded on your GPRS activated mobile to help you reach the destination without much effort.

I don’t know if our lives are getting simpler with the progress made by the human race or not? But I surely miss the human touch or what we call a personal touch in our daily lives. With each year passing by I receive more and more SMS’s and e-mails on my Birthday than the usual call’s on my land line or mobile. And the day after my birthday I sit down with complete concentration to thank all those who mailed and smsed me!

But I get tired of my mobile and the number of calls I get from various banks for a personal or a home loan, and my ever overflowing mail boxes, the unlimited number of bills of various credit cards and home mobiles which I need to pay before due dates. And I’m tired of calling and speaking to various customer representatives who can’t help me more than forwarding my concern to a ‘concerned’ department! It’s tiring to click ‘NO’ for the daily dose of ‘phrendship’ requests on Orkut . I hate sitting in front of a PC for more than 8 hours a day at work. But the fact is I can’t do without any of these and lets admit it non of you can!

And who do we blame in the end….we have made our lives dependent on all the things our parents and grandparents have lived without happily.

That’s why I say, my simple complex life!

Just the begining

Blogging has been the "IN" thing for quite sometime now. Unfortunately in the race to do everthing we still do lose out on few ( or maybe more :P).
But then who cares? Better late than never. After much planning and strategizing i have decided to start my blog. Congrats to me :)
The main idea, as a blog anyways is, was to pen down my thoughts and shre them with you all....those who know me and for those who are trying to have a peek into my life.
I have a secret passion for writting poems. I have a separate blog for that and hope to hear all your comments on the same too :)

This one is called Deep in thoughts....yeah you guessed it....its gonna be a real self reralization corner where i am gonna play the role of a Life analyst (which i love to...). My experiences of relationships, emotions, experiences and much more to look forward for. Lets see how good this looks..... :)

And all that wld be posted subsequently are purely my personal thoughts and my perpective. You may or may not agree with the same so that's where we are gonna have a thought war :)