I read this somewhere, “Don’t be too broad minded, your brains might fall off”.
Nice one!
Broad minded is a much misused word in today’s time. I often hear guys and girls saying, “Oh, my partner better be broad-minded you know…. I can’t tolerate an introvert!”
On few occasions I asked such people how they define the term “Broad-minded”.
“Oh it’s real simple” said a girl with naughty eyes, “you know I love my freedom. And I want that my guy shouldn’t bother me when I meet new guys or hang around with new people. He can have his fun and I mine!”
“See I aint committed so I want to explore the world, so I would like to have relationship with girls who think one night stands are not too big a deal!”
“If he lets me wear tiny skirt and plunging necklines I would know he’s pretty broad-minded”
As the dictionary defines it…
broad-mind·ed (brôd m n d d)
adj.
Having or characterized by tolerant or liberal views.
broad -mind ed·ly adv.
broad -mind ed·ness n.
Synonyms: broad-minded, broad, liberal, open-minded, tolerantThese adjectives mean having or showing an inclination to respect views and beliefs that differ from one's own: a broad-minded judge; showed broad sympathies; a liberal cleric; open-minded impartiality; a tolerant attitude.
Antonym: narrow-minded
So the real meaning has some how been misused to suit our requirement!
One night stands or revealing clothing or two timing a partner, are these actually being broad minded? In a way we could say being tolerant but maybe not accepting of it.
As mentioned in the definition it basically means - an inclination to respect views and beliefs that differ from one's own.
If we think about it we usually have our own mind frame regarding the life we live. It’s like us writing our own rules and regulations and those who don’t follow our principles are regarded as intruders.
But we are humans….social animals as we are termed. So we meet people of various cultural backgrounds and of varied habits and characteristics. Of course we cant like everyone or even hate everyone but if we want to happy we must follow a neutral path by being broad-minded.
Many times we meet people who behave in a strange way and we feel they are so “sad” or “weird” but there must be a reason for that. But in this fast paced life who has time for reasoning? However if we give them a chance we’ll find out why they are the way they are? And trust me it might not do anything for you to spend your precious time understanding them but you would add one more point of view to your live and broaden your perspective.
We lose out on a lot of things in life because we fail to see them in ways different from ours. We make wrong judgments of people from what we hear and never talk to them. We easily get out of relationships because we are not tolerant of our partners outlook. We talk ill about those who are different from us. We feel that we are always right because that gives us comfort.
And when we realize all this we feel how stupid we have been all the while!
Remember one thing, every time you meet a new person give him/her a chance to show his/her real self to you. Take a minute extra before you judge others or come to conclusions. Try and love people without prejudice and the wrong doings they have committed to you. But be sure you provide them with regular feedback when you are dissatisfied.
Doing all this would help you to see the world in a broader perspective and then you can choose the one that befits the situation/person the best.
Hope this reading helps you become broad-minded.
Warning: “Don’t be too broad-minded, else you know what happens ;)”
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Prioritizing
“What are your long term goals?”
“Long term!”, laughing…. “Dude I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me this evening forget tomorrow!!”
“Well you need to know your priorities dear”
“OK, in that case I want to have a better job and role at work, a good amount of hike every year so I can splurge the way I do now. Get married to the guy I love more than anything and have 2 lovely daughters. Then get old taking care of my family and take my final trip to heaven peacefully. Does this answer your question?” Wink Wink!
“Gosh what a kiddo you are!”
“No, I ain't a kiddo! I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me today evening or where this life leads me tomorrow but I just want a simple happy life and grow old loving and get loved.”
This is a conversation between a guy and a girl. You must have guessed it!
Usually women are more focused on family and personal life while men are busy figuring out how to earn more. None can be blamed for that’s how their thinking works. Call it gender talks or whatever you wish to.
But, no matter how ambitious and career oriented a woman might be, it’s but natural to wish for a happy married life and a caring partner to whom she can devote the rest of the life to. For her it’s important to have meaningful relationships, compassion and care because she feels that money would come for sure. After all if both her husband and she are well qualified where is the problem?
Men on the other hand take their career/business/work more seriously as they are the ‘bread earners’ of the family. For them a family takes a second role. In the end what will you do with a lover or a family when you have no money to give them a lifestyle?
But does this hold good in today’s world too? I feel yes it does, to a very large extent. There might be exceptions. But as far as I have seen this is a common thinking among men and women
Especially when there are couples in a relationship there is a lot of sacrificing and compromising that happens. And I strongly agree that it is required for any successful relationship. But the question comes whether both the partners understand each others expectation or not? Or do they realize their and their partners’ priorities in life?
Love is blind and it often blinds people to many harsh realities of life. Sometime relationships which have seen all ups and downs of life for years together fall apart and come to stand still when commitments take a toll. Yes the “C” word which reminds you of all the “Ifs” and “Buts”, the “Hows” and “Whens”.
As a boyfriend or girlfriend one would never realize if his/her partner is actually whom he/she wants to marry. It’s a total fantasy world when you are in love. One fails to see many wrong doings and problems he/she faces during the courtship. Because one feels that “C’mon, I can surely do this much for him/her!” And you keep doing things which you never imagined. We go way beyond our capacity and capability to give love, protection and care to the relationship, trying to nurture it day after day! It’s like taking care of your first born baby!
But what usually happens through such long relationships is that women become bounded to their better halves. They start looking at them as their perspective future husbands and in fact start treating them in the same fashion. They often go so blind that they start giving them a place in their lives which would be higher than their own parents, siblings or friends! This comes natural to any woman who has loved a man for very long and has spent a lot of time with him. Men fail to understand this behaviour of women which often leads to many complications later on. They do not see this transformation coming in their partners and often take this to extra love the partner is showering on them.
In the beginning women give their unconditional love and care. But there comes a time when they start expecting the man to reciprocate by giving her a commitment of a lifetime!
This is the real test of the relationship. The woman who’s neck deep into the relationship and who was till now thinking that this would be her man, her life, her everything, now sits back in anxiety wondering if he too feels the same way about her? What a pitiful state? Imagine after all those sacrifices, compromises and unconditional love and care you need to go through such a torture. It’s like waiting for your results after an exam you studied so hard for but you are not sure if the professor like you enough to give you a “A” or a “D” grade!
The man on the other hand doesn’t give in easily. After all he is a MAN. He would scrutinize the entire situation; balance out if this would work. Will my family accept her? Will she be able to adjust in a new culture and among “my” people? Would she be ok dressing up like a married woman and socializing in all my family parties?
These problems usually come when the partners are from different backgrounds. Very rarely do men take a step to accept the woman as she is and promise her the life she has dreamt of with him. He would give her a priority she gave him in her life and might even go against culture or family members to be with her.
But usually the vice-versa happens. Men tell the women the situation and expect her to adjust, compromise and give in to the ways of his family. Seeing no other option some women usually don’t think twice and happily accept what life has to offer. And regret later.
But it’s 21st century. Women are smart and have a huge exposure to life. They also measure their risks. Understand their family expectations and more importantly decide whether its worth to give in to marry this man!! She has been giving all this while to get him and now again she gotta give in to further get into a relationship which would be highly demanding and unfairly rewarding! Not worth the risk.
That’s why women need to understand what’s the right thing to do? And men need to understand that they are highly regarded by their partners and if they cannot promise them the future their partner are looking for; its important to explicitly tell them and not let the woman flow into a imaginary river taking her to fantasy world.
It needs guts to love someone!! And remember….
“Don’t let a person be a Priority for you when he/she considers you as an Option”
“Long term!”, laughing…. “Dude I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me this evening forget tomorrow!!”
“Well you need to know your priorities dear”
“OK, in that case I want to have a better job and role at work, a good amount of hike every year so I can splurge the way I do now. Get married to the guy I love more than anything and have 2 lovely daughters. Then get old taking care of my family and take my final trip to heaven peacefully. Does this answer your question?” Wink Wink!
“Gosh what a kiddo you are!”
“No, I ain't a kiddo! I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me today evening or where this life leads me tomorrow but I just want a simple happy life and grow old loving and get loved.”
This is a conversation between a guy and a girl. You must have guessed it!
Usually women are more focused on family and personal life while men are busy figuring out how to earn more. None can be blamed for that’s how their thinking works. Call it gender talks or whatever you wish to.
But, no matter how ambitious and career oriented a woman might be, it’s but natural to wish for a happy married life and a caring partner to whom she can devote the rest of the life to. For her it’s important to have meaningful relationships, compassion and care because she feels that money would come for sure. After all if both her husband and she are well qualified where is the problem?
Men on the other hand take their career/business/work more seriously as they are the ‘bread earners’ of the family. For them a family takes a second role. In the end what will you do with a lover or a family when you have no money to give them a lifestyle?
But does this hold good in today’s world too? I feel yes it does, to a very large extent. There might be exceptions. But as far as I have seen this is a common thinking among men and women
Especially when there are couples in a relationship there is a lot of sacrificing and compromising that happens. And I strongly agree that it is required for any successful relationship. But the question comes whether both the partners understand each others expectation or not? Or do they realize their and their partners’ priorities in life?
Love is blind and it often blinds people to many harsh realities of life. Sometime relationships which have seen all ups and downs of life for years together fall apart and come to stand still when commitments take a toll. Yes the “C” word which reminds you of all the “Ifs” and “Buts”, the “Hows” and “Whens”.
As a boyfriend or girlfriend one would never realize if his/her partner is actually whom he/she wants to marry. It’s a total fantasy world when you are in love. One fails to see many wrong doings and problems he/she faces during the courtship. Because one feels that “C’mon, I can surely do this much for him/her!” And you keep doing things which you never imagined. We go way beyond our capacity and capability to give love, protection and care to the relationship, trying to nurture it day after day! It’s like taking care of your first born baby!
But what usually happens through such long relationships is that women become bounded to their better halves. They start looking at them as their perspective future husbands and in fact start treating them in the same fashion. They often go so blind that they start giving them a place in their lives which would be higher than their own parents, siblings or friends! This comes natural to any woman who has loved a man for very long and has spent a lot of time with him. Men fail to understand this behaviour of women which often leads to many complications later on. They do not see this transformation coming in their partners and often take this to extra love the partner is showering on them.
In the beginning women give their unconditional love and care. But there comes a time when they start expecting the man to reciprocate by giving her a commitment of a lifetime!
This is the real test of the relationship. The woman who’s neck deep into the relationship and who was till now thinking that this would be her man, her life, her everything, now sits back in anxiety wondering if he too feels the same way about her? What a pitiful state? Imagine after all those sacrifices, compromises and unconditional love and care you need to go through such a torture. It’s like waiting for your results after an exam you studied so hard for but you are not sure if the professor like you enough to give you a “A” or a “D” grade!
The man on the other hand doesn’t give in easily. After all he is a MAN. He would scrutinize the entire situation; balance out if this would work. Will my family accept her? Will she be able to adjust in a new culture and among “my” people? Would she be ok dressing up like a married woman and socializing in all my family parties?
These problems usually come when the partners are from different backgrounds. Very rarely do men take a step to accept the woman as she is and promise her the life she has dreamt of with him. He would give her a priority she gave him in her life and might even go against culture or family members to be with her.
But usually the vice-versa happens. Men tell the women the situation and expect her to adjust, compromise and give in to the ways of his family. Seeing no other option some women usually don’t think twice and happily accept what life has to offer. And regret later.
But it’s 21st century. Women are smart and have a huge exposure to life. They also measure their risks. Understand their family expectations and more importantly decide whether its worth to give in to marry this man!! She has been giving all this while to get him and now again she gotta give in to further get into a relationship which would be highly demanding and unfairly rewarding! Not worth the risk.
That’s why women need to understand what’s the right thing to do? And men need to understand that they are highly regarded by their partners and if they cannot promise them the future their partner are looking for; its important to explicitly tell them and not let the woman flow into a imaginary river taking her to fantasy world.
It needs guts to love someone!! And remember….
“Don’t let a person be a Priority for you when he/she considers you as an Option”
Thursday, April 3, 2008
My Simple Complex life!
Does that strike a chord?
If not try and remember how you paid your last mobile bill? Did you personally visit a Vodafone or Airtel shop? Or u made it online with a credit card or maybe through your mobile itself? Did they receive it. Yes? Well...that's gr8! And what if they didn't...now there you go....calling the customer care rep...spending 10-15 minutes explaining your problem and trying to convince them that u actually paid them and your service should no longer be barred!
So basically to make your life easy you spend lots of money on a smart phone and then to make it simpler and cheap you apply for best rate plan and end up in the whirlpool of complexities to make this simple thing work smoothly!
We never ponder on such small things....and I never bothered to think about it either, till today when I and a friend discussed how complex are simple lives are getting!
Sometime I feel life was better when we didn’t have mobiles and computer and credit cards. Live was simple and easy. I feel my parents had a better life without all theses complex technologies and so called devices and equipments and services which now claim to be our basic foundation for a smart survival! But we are now in 2008 and this is our new freedom, though I don’t remember being chained!
Do you recall the last time you wrote a letter to a relative/friend....by hand? The last time I did it was maybe 2005....phew!! writing a hand written letter is already becoming history. Maybe one day my kids would read their history chapters on their palm tops and curiously ask me what a paper letter really looked like and if I had any specimen for them to take to school and show off a historic item to their fellow hi tech friends!
I was proposed on a SMS 5 years from now. And OK I admit that I accepted the proposal with a SMS reply too. But now I can imagine love letters traveling on mails in gmail or a yahoo account ID. Sisters sending e-rakhis to their brothers on Raksha Bandhan and their sweet brothers sending an e-voucher as a token of love which could be redeemed on a popular gift site. Soon marriage invitations would be sent as a MMS with a small presentation of the bride and bridegroom, some traditional music and a map which could be downloaded on your GPRS activated mobile to help you reach the destination without much effort.
I don’t know if our lives are getting simpler with the progress made by the human race or not? But I surely miss the human touch or what we call a personal touch in our daily lives. With each year passing by I receive more and more SMS’s and e-mails on my Birthday than the usual call’s on my land line or mobile. And the day after my birthday I sit down with complete concentration to thank all those who mailed and smsed me!
But I get tired of my mobile and the number of calls I get from various banks for a personal or a home loan, and my ever overflowing mail boxes, the unlimited number of bills of various credit cards and home mobiles which I need to pay before due dates. And I’m tired of calling and speaking to various customer representatives who can’t help me more than forwarding my concern to a ‘concerned’ department! It’s tiring to click ‘NO’ for the daily dose of ‘phrendship’ requests on Orkut . I hate sitting in front of a PC for more than 8 hours a day at work. But the fact is I can’t do without any of these and lets admit it non of you can!
And who do we blame in the end….we have made our lives dependent on all the things our parents and grandparents have lived without happily.
That’s why I say, my simple complex life!
If not try and remember how you paid your last mobile bill? Did you personally visit a Vodafone or Airtel shop? Or u made it online with a credit card or maybe through your mobile itself? Did they receive it. Yes? Well...that's gr8! And what if they didn't...now there you go....calling the customer care rep...spending 10-15 minutes explaining your problem and trying to convince them that u actually paid them and your service should no longer be barred!
So basically to make your life easy you spend lots of money on a smart phone and then to make it simpler and cheap you apply for best rate plan and end up in the whirlpool of complexities to make this simple thing work smoothly!
We never ponder on such small things....and I never bothered to think about it either, till today when I and a friend discussed how complex are simple lives are getting!
Sometime I feel life was better when we didn’t have mobiles and computer and credit cards. Live was simple and easy. I feel my parents had a better life without all theses complex technologies and so called devices and equipments and services which now claim to be our basic foundation for a smart survival! But we are now in 2008 and this is our new freedom, though I don’t remember being chained!
Do you recall the last time you wrote a letter to a relative/friend....by hand? The last time I did it was maybe 2005....phew!! writing a hand written letter is already becoming history. Maybe one day my kids would read their history chapters on their palm tops and curiously ask me what a paper letter really looked like and if I had any specimen for them to take to school and show off a historic item to their fellow hi tech friends!
I was proposed on a SMS 5 years from now. And OK I admit that I accepted the proposal with a SMS reply too. But now I can imagine love letters traveling on mails in gmail or a yahoo account ID. Sisters sending e-rakhis to their brothers on Raksha Bandhan and their sweet brothers sending an e-voucher as a token of love which could be redeemed on a popular gift site. Soon marriage invitations would be sent as a MMS with a small presentation of the bride and bridegroom, some traditional music and a map which could be downloaded on your GPRS activated mobile to help you reach the destination without much effort.
I don’t know if our lives are getting simpler with the progress made by the human race or not? But I surely miss the human touch or what we call a personal touch in our daily lives. With each year passing by I receive more and more SMS’s and e-mails on my Birthday than the usual call’s on my land line or mobile. And the day after my birthday I sit down with complete concentration to thank all those who mailed and smsed me!
But I get tired of my mobile and the number of calls I get from various banks for a personal or a home loan, and my ever overflowing mail boxes, the unlimited number of bills of various credit cards and home mobiles which I need to pay before due dates. And I’m tired of calling and speaking to various customer representatives who can’t help me more than forwarding my concern to a ‘concerned’ department! It’s tiring to click ‘NO’ for the daily dose of ‘phrendship’ requests on Orkut . I hate sitting in front of a PC for more than 8 hours a day at work. But the fact is I can’t do without any of these and lets admit it non of you can!
And who do we blame in the end….we have made our lives dependent on all the things our parents and grandparents have lived without happily.
That’s why I say, my simple complex life!
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